The Acorn Scandal

I want to tell you about some dastardly deeds going on. I find them highly offensive. I can't believe it's been allowed to go on this long. There must be a stop to it.

Some squirrels have decided to band together and knock acorns out of the tree in our front yard recently. These acorns have fallen on our driveway. With no thought about it, Jess and I have backed our cars out of the garage and crushed these acorns. They have left a mark on the concrete that screams for power-washing. These squirrels just cost us some hard-earned money.

The squirrels aren't fessing up to it. In fact, I think they blame us for noticing them and not cleaning them up in time. I've asked the squirrels to stop, but they seem defiant. Some of the squirrels try to say "not all squirrels are like this".

We know better. Where there are acorns, there are squirrels to push them out of trees.

My only hope is for this recent DFW monsoon to wash away some of the mark left by these incomprehensible acts.

I hope to rest from this controversy soon, relax, and find out what's going on in the news today.

Drop your sword

Basic Training Tuesdays aren't going to happen.

I don't have much to say about writing this week. Let's say the seat is empty for now. Kind of like the followers and the comments portion of this page. In better news, my wife Jessica released her blog this week and it blew up on its first day. Way to go, Homegirl.

If anyone is reading this, make sure to tell all your friends, your enemies, and your friends' enemies about the happenings at journeymark.

Today, I would like to talk about the Dread Pirate Roberts. If like me, you have ingested the movie The Princess Bride (at one time considered the crown-jewel of date movies in my circles) countless times, you are no doubt aware of a couple of intricacies of a DPR.

He:

1.) is always close to Floren this time of year

2.) is nine feet tall and on fire when storming castles

3.) will take no survivors

4.) has come for your souls

5.) is not real

Look again at the last one on the list. The DPR is a scam, a fast-one, a hoodwink, a figment of worst imaginations. Played out in the movie, the DPR is hilariously used for storming a castle, exacting revenge and saving true love. We see the power of the DPR. After all, it's not easy for 2 people and 1 giant to bust into a castle guarded by "tirty" men with only a wheelbarrow, a holocaust cloak, and fire listed amongst their assets. Once in motion, the DPR is one bad rolling ball of fiery mojo when believed in.

In real life, soul-stealing, no-prisoner-taking DPRs aren't so funny.

I've seen a DPR rumbling toward me recently. As Jess and I wade through the possible reality of infertility and uncertainty about becoming parents, we face a void we can't fill on our own.

I've seen other DPRs also threaten the lives of those around me lately, taking no survivors while trying to destroy relationships, feed addictions, and present tasks which seem insurmountable.

However, what I like better than a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich (especially when the mutton is nice and lean) is the fact God extinguishes the flames of the DPR when we seek safety in his presence.

After all, He:

1.) is always near us

2.) is infinitely large

3.) made us survivors

4.) came for our souls

5.) is very real

As for those DPRs headed toward you today, God says, "To the pain."